Happy Monday All!
Hope you had a wonderful week of laughter! Thank you for sharing your stories! Many of them made me laugh while reading them. Some of you get a kick out of your kids as much as I get a kick out of mine. Watching one’s offspring ‘bring the funny’ never seems to get old. Some of you have funny moments in the workplace and others laugh hysterically from watching your favorite television shows and movies. No matter how you got your ‘tickle on,’ I’m sure your heart thanks you! Thank you for your comments - and keep laughing! I have answered another industry question below.
I digress…Helping The Wrong People.
I recently had an enlightening conversation with a dear friend of mind about the advantages of helping the right people and paying life forward versus helping the wrong people and regretting the gesture. She and I are both supportive and generous folks by nature and seem to get a rush out of being there for others. Most of the time, it is an honor and the end result is positive, full of great experiences and new relationships. Other times it is not. The truth is, we will all need help from someone or something (directly or indirectly) throughout our lives, and that is necessary (for the giver and the receiver). However, it was so interesting and refreshing to note that we both learned some of the same lessons, and embraced the same resolve, at this time in our lives. Learning these life lessons is not a bad thing if within the lessons we discover what not to do – again. We began to generally touch on some of our experiences – good and bad. Some of them made us chuckle and others left us both nodding our heads up and down in agreement. As usual, the good far outweighed the bad, but the negative experiences seem to have left us with more moments of reflection that we can use in the future. Nevertheless, the end resolve was liberating.
We were able to highlight the benefits and the drawbacks of them both. I have determined that helping the right people is like wearing a pair of comfortable walking shoes. It just feels right and you look forward to doing it again. On the other hand, I have determined that helping the wrong people is like wearing the wrong color lipstick. The color looked good in the store and on your hand when you tested it, but when you walked passed a mirror and caught a glimpse of the truth, “What was I thinking?” are the only words that escaped from your mouth. Can you ladies relate? I can, and my hideous color was a burnt orange (you don’t have to say it, I know – now). Anyway, here are some of the advantages that we found for helping the right people and some of the disadvantages for helping the wrong people.
Advantages of helping the right people:
- We get to encourage them to keep going forward.
- We get to motivate them to aim higher.
- We get to teach them how to help someone else in the future.
- We get to validate their journey.
- We get to remind them that they have support if they need it.
- We get to bless others with what God has blessed us with.
Disadvantages of helping the wrong people:
- We take away the long-term benefits of what ‘struggle’ and ‘doing it the hard way’ will present to them.
- We take away their joy and sense of accomplishment that we got to experience by having to learn certain lessons on our own – without any shortcuts.
- We take away their reasons to be persistent, patient, focused, pro-active and self-reliant.
- We stunt their personal growth and weaken their desire to ‘make it’ on their own.
- We give them reasons to be lazy, slothful, ungrateful, entitled, selfish, and greedy.
- We become their crutches to rely on, instead of helping them learn how to stand on their own two feet.
So in essence, when helping the right people, everyone wins, but when helping the wrong people both sides get cheated out of something, to a degree. As you read this week’s blog, hopefully you were able to make some assessments. If so, I have a few questions for you.
Exercise: Are you helping the write people? Are they better off because you helped them? Is your relationship with them better because of it? Or, are you helping the wrong people?
My General Answer to an Industry Question from Others
Question: What is the best and fastest way for my child to become a celebrity?
I discuss these types of questions in my new book coming out this fall as well. However, because there are many ways to approach this question (depending on the reasons for you asking), I’m going to answer your question by asking you a question. Why do you want your child to be a celebrity? Looking forward to hearing your answer.
Note: www.sagaftra.org is always an excellent source for FAQ.
Have a great week…on purpose!
Copyright © 2015 by Angela J. Williams. All rights reserved.